Thursday, June 23, 2005

Our Hutterites



Ok, if you know anything about Tokyo Slim, you know my admiration for the Hutterites. In a word: Efficient. When I was a kid in New York, we had the Amish around. Nice people, but they wasted so much time without electricity and gas-powered engines. It drove me nuts to think about it.
Then you got your Hutterites. They got the gas powered engines, the electricity. “They play the guitars on the MTV.” Okay, not really, but compared to the Amish, they rock! They appeared to be the high-tech, blasphemous Amish.
The bad Amish got kicked outta New York, so they ran West to Ohio. The bad ones there got kicked out again and ran to Montana and changed their name to the Hutterites. That was my 3 minute theory.
Then I began to study them… When they go to Walmart, it's all "in, grab it, pay for it, out." I was impressed. And I told people," Those Hutterites are efficient, man."
Then I had the chance to check out the digs at the Hutterite Colony near Ulm, Montana. I saw the organization of their place; nice. They had housing areas set up better than a military base, all lined up, symmetrical and organized. Neat, tidy, not flashy, efficient.
Wow, they have uniforms, barracks-type family unit housing, non-whimsical/non-meandering shopping methods, organized work-place and family-unit housing area, well structured schooling, a daily schedule you could set the atomic clock to… These Sons-of-Guns are Efficient!


Here's a picture of some Hutterite Boys in front of the housing.


Here's a picture of a row of housing. It's all the same, so tell the Johnson's to kiss yer ass, the competition's over.


Then I saw this picture, what the hell?:

The Alcohol, the DVD's for those boring stake-outs, The CIA Operative in the background reporting back to Big-Brother. You know that metallic tubing on the right is tied to Roswell!
I'm starting to think we've all been duped. Was it all just a hoax? Were all the Hutterites just a front for a bigger Operation? Were the Hutterites monitoring us at Walmart? Seeing what we buy, what we waste our time on? Did they see me at the Five-Dollar-DVD-Bin for more than a minute? Were there cameras hidden in the beards and bonnets of our silent societal co-habitants?
My suspicion is raised, as well as my guard.

68 Comments:

At Fri Jun 24, 07:40:00 AM GMT+9, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ms. Lilly can see why you would think that the Huterites are the bad boys of the Amish.
So you tend to think that the huterites are efficient...In a way they are. Check out the dresses on the ladies, they have pockets that go all the way to the lower hem (this is for the effieciency of shop lifting). I can name a few stores that they are not allowed in, and a few more that when they eneter the cameras are more focused on them than anyone else in the store. They will lift anything from a small 9" inch t.v. to clothing, to tools that do not have the security panels on them---you name it they probably have lifted it. So to think that they are all the shit, you may just want to rethink who you are thinking about.

 
At Fri Jun 24, 09:12:00 AM GMT+9, Blogger Tokyo Slim said...

Yes, and non-Hutterites have never stolen anything. To say that they all are theives would be stereo-typical.
They've always treated me courteously and with respect, so I've got no beef with them. We live in a society that normally looks down at people who cast aspersions on an entire religion or way of life. But, don't ask me, I'm just the guy that's paid to preserve their right to their way of life and your right to hate on them.
Check and mate.

 
At Sat Jun 25, 02:16:00 AM GMT+9, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ms. Lilly never said that they were the only bad boys out there. And she never said that she hates them, in fact their creative abilities to work with limited resources and creat works of art, plus to obtain a living on nothing but farm life (when that is practically a dying life) amazes me. I just wanted to let you know that they are not the most honest people out there.
Remember Ms. Lilly worked for the public and saw how they would try to take advantage of every thing that came along (not that anyone else ever has).
Just remeber they are not perfect. But produce great food.
So take that.

 
At Sat Jun 25, 08:34:00 AM GMT+9, Blogger Tokyo Slim said...

Good recovery. Sorry I got so preachy, the Ziggy cartoons make me that way. Damn that Ziggy.
The point of the post was to highlight my admiration of their efficiency and then have some fun with the beer picture.
That's my idiotic style of humor. If you've seen "Mr. Saturday Night" with Billy Crystal, he says several times through-out the movie, "See what I did there? You thought I was going this way, then I went that way." It usually catches people and then they get a chuckle in front of their dogs.

 
At Sat Jun 25, 11:05:00 AM GMT+9, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ms. Lilly never thought that you were preaching, although I hear you are certified.

I will take that coffe and side of bacon as a peace offering.

Now if you could only put the efficiency into use with the basement thing, it would be a great gift from the hutes.

 
At Sat Jun 25, 11:27:00 AM GMT+9, Blogger Tokyo Slim said...

Well, I have been asked twice for my religious services. It's what we in the Ordained Minister biz like to call, "Shit Hot Padre!" LOL.

As far as my basement goes, I need the ambition of 2 Hutterite lawyers, 4 Amish bookies, and a Catholic Minister at a summer camp.

It'll get done eventually.

 
At Wed Jun 25, 04:39:00 AM GMT+9, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Tokyo Slim!

Just nice to read new info about bretheren! If this is interesting to you or somebody else - I am involved in studying of the history of the first Hutterite settlements in Ukraine, in Vishenki and Radichev. I have found two cellars in Radichev, and part of smithery. In Vishenky I have also founded place, where first colony stood. That is why I decided to make tour to those villages – to obtain money for father research. If this is interesting to somebody – pls, contact me.

Here is more info:

Dear beloved brothers!

My company provides Hutterites Heritage Tours to Vishenka, Radicheva, Johanesrud and Huttertal – places, where Hutterites lived from 1776 to 1890th .

Among my clients there are such people as Ronald A. Tschetter, director of the U.S. Peace Corps, Wesley G. Tschetter, Assistant Vice President for Finance and Business, Don Mendel, farm owner, and many others!

We can offer:
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- Nice hotel in Kiev
- Tour around first colonies in Ukraine (Vishenka and Radicheva)
- Hotel in Radicheva – on the place, where colony stood!
- Trip to colonies on Molochnaya river (Johanesrud and Huttertal)
- Guide & interpreter.

Tour is consist of two parts and takes five days:

- Day 1: meeting in Borispol international airport, overnight accommodation in hotel in Kiev (tour around the city available)
- Day 2: Visit of Vishenky and Radicheva, overnight accommodation in hotel in Radicheva
- Day 3: Trip to Melitopel, accommodation in hotel in Zaporozhye
- Day 4: Visit of Johanesrud, Huttertal or Orloff
- Day 5: Trip back to Kiev and overnight accommodation in hotel in Kiev
- Day 6: Transfer to Borispol international airport.

The quantity of people who can participate in one trip – from two to eight.

Maxim Kuleshoff
Tel. +38 (067) 957 30 58
E-mail: maximwolf@ukr.net

 
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