Old friends

Guess who's back in town? It's my old friend, searing neck pain! My god, ol' buddy, how long's it been? 3 months? Why, I haven't seen you since that day in traction?

I'll give it until Monday, then I'm gonna go to Physical Therapy; get on the old traction contraption. Hopefully they can squeeze me in, get it? Sorry, I'm medicated.

So, my going away lunch is today at Legends, where I'll maybe get roasted a bit, then I'll have to say something. MK, if you read the Royal Order of the Horse, I'll puke right on you!

The going away lunch is your last chance to address your co-workers, burn some bridges and a last ditch effort to get your orders red-lined. Through these crappy 4 years, I've pictured what I would say, and how much trash I would talk. Now I'm actually at that point and there's nothing in the world that could make me say anything to jeopardize me leaving. "It's been wonderful, I love you all," turn, walk away holding back puke, failing, failing... "Clean up at table 6". Don't get me wrong, I've met a lot of nice people here, but the assignment just wasn't as good as it could have been, and you 've got to be polite in these situations. It's surreal to witness the exact moment when you know you've been beaten into submission.

What is it about our society that makes it so wrong to say exactly what's on your mind? You can do it sometimes, with a low limit, but only to some people. That's why characters like Cosmo Kramer have such an appeal. He says exactly what he thinks, and winds up with an Oscar and Miss Rhode Island. George Costanza, on the other hand, is just like the rest of us, but worse.