My Feelings for Alaska

I Hate Alaska, anyone from Alaska, and especially anyone that talks about Alaska, how much better something is in Alaska, one time back in Alaska, I left my wallet in Alaska, my first sexual experience in Alaska, things to do in Alaska eventhough you're not in Alaska, people who are from Louisiana but claim to be from Alaska, people who love Alaska but won't please the world by actually staying in Alaska, people who complain about not living in Alaska, Baked Alaska, Alaskan King Crab, Fast Times at Ridgemont Alaska, My Other Car is an Alaskan Dog Sled, My Child is an Alaskan Honor Roll Student, If you're an Alaska State Resident you can turn gravity off for three weeks per quarter, It's my turn to pull Alaskan State Governor duty again, the Official Alaskan State Pajama is a Headband, Would the real Slim Alaskan please stand up, please stand up, please stand up, Roswell is fake; the real aliens live in Alaska, North Korea aims Nukes on Alaska "cuz we're so awesome", The Beatles were really from Alaska, but "Alaskan invasion" turned up second place to "British Invasion" in music catch phrase polls, those stupid Non-Alaskans.